Sunday, November 28, 2010

Patrick's DUMBEST comment of the day

At church this morning.
After ONE year of attending Sunday service, the assistant pastor finally approaches us to greet and talk (it's a HUGE congregation mind you). I was off fetching the Ls from Sunday school.
This is the conversation between my wonderful, but sometimes a wee-bit SLOW, husband and  the pastor.

Pastor: Welcome! It's nice to meet you.
SLOW Husband: Thank You!
Pastor: Are you very religious?
SLOW Husband: My wife is ...
Innocent bystander, who knows my SLOW husband: YES he IS!!!
Pastor: Are you from this denomination?
SLOW Husband: My wife is, she is German and comes from the town where Luther DECODED the Bible.
Pastor: BLANK STARE
Innocent bystander (in a very apologetic voice) : He is an engineer.
Pastor (in a very forgiving voice): I see. So you are Lutheran?
SLOW Husband: My wife is. Yes, she is. VERY Lutheran.
Pastor: (with a very forced smile) Thats nice. Please excuse me. ... and walks away. I am sure he crossed himself and prayed for Pat's poor soul while walking away.

Conversation that followed between me and SLOW Husband in the car thereafter:
Me: "DECODED the Bible?" WHAT?
Me: "Yes she is Lutheran, VERY Lutheran?" What?
SLOW Husband: What??? Aren't you Lutheran? You are right?
Me: Yes my poor SLOW Husband, I am VERY Lutheran. I am so Lutheran I can almost DECODE the Bible myself ... if I'd only knew "binary code".
Me: Did you hit your head on the way out of the door this morning?
SLOW Husband: Whaaaat!!!! It's all cool! Right?

I can't wait for next week. I am sure I'll be greeted by many, many people with very understanding smiles for the woman who brings her poor, mentally disabled SLOW Husband to pray to the Lord.
Crowd to me: "Bless you dear Lady. May God be with you during this challenging time of your life. We do offer assistance for Saints, like you, who live with people like him!"

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