L&L's Comment of the Day

Lillie: " Mama I think I just hear Willie bark up in heaven."

Lulu: " I know, I put on my Super Man shirt and fly up in heaven to get him. Want to come with me?"

Dog Heaven

Thank You!

To all of our friends and family;

Our deepest thanks for your kind words, prayers and poems. Your words brought a bit of light into this very dark day.

The house is a very quite house today, even the girls are whispering. It is mind blowing how empty a home can feel without these 4 paws and a wagging tail.
I always think I can hear him walking on the kitchen floor, his paws tapping on the linoleum. The squeaky cat door opens and I am waiting for his little head to pock through. I cut up turkey for the girls for lunch and dropped some, I almost called his name out ... boy he loved being my "living vacuum". The bed feels empty without somebody laying exactly, always, at any time right where I want to put my legs and when the mailman came there was none to bark at him. I drive into the driveway and he'd always sit at the gate, wagging his tail and barking like "there you are, I have been waiting forever for you". The gate was empty today.

The girls are very confused and upset. Lulu doesn't understand it. She talks about heaven and Willie. Her comment of the day was " Mama I go get a spaceship and fly up there and get your Willie back.".
Lillie's comment of the day was " Can we just get a new one and call him Willie and then we wont miss him anymore?".

It's so hard to explain it to the girls when you don't really know how to understand it yourself.
This all went to fast. We didn't even have time to realize what was going on. Last week I had a healthy dog (so I thought), on Monday there was "cautious optimism", on Tuesday he couldn't walk very much anymore and yesterday he just, he just got so sick and today ...

It's been so super windy today. I heard the native Indians believe that when the soul travels up to the spirits it's carried by the wind ... a mighty spirit that is. They also believe that a soul comes back in the form of a crow. For the last two days we have had a big, black crow sitting on the power-lines above the neighbors house. Maybe there is something to it and he is all around us right now.
Or maybe my very hurting heart is just looking for some sort of comfort anywhere. Just a little bit of relieve from this utter, dark pain.

I don't care what people say or think, for me it feels like I just lost one of my kids, my very best friend, my shadow, my happy-maker. From the moment I first met him he was my soul mate. We had this special bond. I was his special human and he my special dog. He definitely was our family dog but deep inside he was always mine, my one and only Willie. I can not remember the last time I have been in so much pain, have felt such a loss, was so sad.

The blog will be quiet for a while. I have nothing to blog for now. The CA CZs need to heal their hearts.  Thank you friends for everything. It means a lot to us/me that you care and understand.

With Love,
Patrick, Nadja, Lillie and Lucy

Angel Willie

Our angel Willie became his wings tonight at 11:30pm. He just closed his eyes and seemed, for the first time in days, at peace and not in pain.

My beloved Willie, please do know that you were a very big part of this family. 

You left a very big paw print in my heart !

I will see you one day, up there again. Have save travels and say "hi" from me to the big man up there. He must love you very much to call you up so fast.

I'll meet you at heavenly beach Boo-Boo!!!
I love you from here to there and back and more.

You were my best friend, my shadow, my barky, waggy tail man.
My William John Czarnota.


My heart broke last night.

In deepest sadness,

Your mommy and family

My little patient

I wasn't going to post anything about his diagnosis for a while since it's all too fresh and too hurtful for us but so many people have written or called and asked about Will. I owe everybody an update about my little man.

Patrick spoke with our vet yesterday after he had Willie for another day of observations and the news wasn't "cautiously optimistic" but rather real and painful. Willie has cancer in both of his lungs, quite advanced and quite aggressive. We were told that this is a short-term illness and to enjoy whatever time we have with him. There is nothing that they can do for him, just pain management. 

He is a completely different dog than a week ago. He rarely moves, mostly just lays on one of his make-shift beds which we placed all over the house. He slowly moves from one spot to the next. I haven't heard his crazy bark in a few days now and he hardly follows me around anymore. He follows me with his eyes but everything else stays put. He has a very deep sense of tiredness about him, not his usual sparky spirit. 

I am  so very glad he is home with us . We can all be with him, sit with him, touch, pet and snuggle him. I hope we have enough time to load up on some Willie-lovin but then how could it ever be enough ...

Thank you to everybody for the wonderful emails and messages. Thank you for your care and concern for our wonderful Boo-Boo. He is very lucky to have so many people who love him! Thanks guys! This means a lot to us and helps us to cope better with it.

Here are some pictures of my little patient from today. 

Lulu camping with Willie. The girls decided he needs a blanket and covered him. They are very loving.

The girls "donated" their Dora couch to Willie to rest on. It's easy for him to get to it and to lay on. 

This is where he spent his day today. 

Meow checking on him. She does this a lot now. Always smells him and looks at him. She knows something is not right with her good, old friend. 

 My wonderful, little man!

Roller Coaster

Back at the vet ...

Last night Willie couldn't make his walk. I had to carry him back home and once we got there he literally collapsed on us. He didn't touch his food, just some ham that we gave him. We had to carry him outside to go potty and to bed. We found him this morning on the floor almost not able to get up. He is back at the vet for more observation.

... waiting for a call and a miracle.

Cautiously optimistic

... is what the vet said we could be. Willie's tox results came back and they did NOT find cancer cells or an infection in the sample. WOW ....

I am very careful and don't want to get too excited but that is much better news than we had expected! Much, much better. The next step will be for a specialist to look at Will's x-ray. Hopefully he has a clue about what that huge white spot is in there.

Maybe this was just a sign from the big man above reminding us to take more time for our little man and to enjoy him every singe day. I know I will!!! I am a strong believer in "everything happens for a reason".

Remaining cautiously optimistic .... I am having a much better day!!!

A very sad day!

This blog is supposed to be a log of our day-to-day life so one day we can look back and re-live these crazy days. Most of the posts are good and happy, some of them are not. This is one of the not so good ones.

Yesterday I brought Willie to the vet to do some more tests since he has been having such issues with his breathing. We thought maybe a lung infection or some other infection. He had to spend the night for observation and we all had this bad feeling last night.
Well, the call came in this morning. The x-ray showed a large mass in his chest. I saw it, it's half the size of his heart and grew within months. Nothing specific was said, no diagnosis will be made until the biopsy results come back next week but given his age and the nature of the "thing" they suggested cancer as a good possibility.

Tears were running all morning ... We hope and pray that somehow a miracle will happen.
He is slowly moving through the house, still woozy from the meds, but he ate his food and cleaned the cats bowl ... thats always a good sign.

There is still a lot of Willie left!!! Good thoughts, good thoughts, ...!!!!

Lillie's comment of the day

"I don't want to be rich,  I just want everybody else to have money too."
Awwww ... my big hearted girl. Comments like these make me think we are doing something right.

Princess and the Frog

Fine, I'll kiss you but you better turn into a nice Prince!     

Giddy-up froggy!

Lillie's comment of the day

Lillie takes currently Benadryl at night for her allergies. Here is her comment regarding this:
"Mama, I still need to take my Benatchdrool."

Earth Day Recycled Art Challenge – Featuring YOU

WE DID IT!!! We made it and landed two top spots out of the five categories in the "Make and Takes" craft challenge. We landed a spot in "best paper tube" with our marble track and a spot for "most colorful" with the Princess Paradise. Check it out. We are so super excited!!!! Thank you "Make and Takes" for choosing us!

Dinner and a Show

The Ls surprised Patrick with a fancy birthday dinner party tonight. They greeted him all dressed up at the door when he came home. Here is their story ...

The Cast

Surprise!!!

Papa and his beautiful girlies

THE SHOW!!!!

Twirling and dancing and twirling again ...

Please be seated for the dinner ....

The Menu ... L wrote this ALL BY HERSELF!!! These are some BIG words ... so cool! Our big girl!!!

Translation: mashed potatoes, red cabbage, pork and cake

Check out the number on the cake - she writes all her numbers backwards :)

The Astro Boy cake!!!

YUMMMM - 5 layers of sugar ... perfect for our VERY sugar sensitive Isie. She was on a sugar high, flying through the house, for hours.

Want to try mine papa?

The BIG finale ... THE kiss!

WOW!!!!

LOVE, LOVE and LOVE

Happy, happy birthday!!!

Happy "Barthday" Papa

Patrick's birthday morning in pictures.

The Ls worked all day yesterday on his surprises and did an awesome job!!! PLUS they can keep a secret - the only two in the family who can! Lillie was so excited she woke up at 3:30 wanting to celebrate ... yahwnnn

Lillie wrote this on her own ... I am SO VERY proud of her!!!

The Ls made a picture and I sewed over it with fabric

... turned out cute!

No more excuses!!! You can "fick" it all Papa! (speaking Lulu)

\

yummm ... Papa's favorite choke

The b-day shirt ... bum-bum-head thought we got his hockey number wrong.

... duhhh it's your age. Silly Papa!

The BEST present of all. Love this picture!!!!

ahhh .... the special present!!!

This was Lillie's idea ... she is SO my daughter!!!

Patrick's car radio died a while ago. I was going to buy him a new one but then the radio would be more worth than the car and the poor thief, trying to steal it, would be exposed to a serious health risk if he would enter the car.

SO ... we made one. L sat in my car and copied my radio.

I installed it in the morning. Looks amazing and he can sing right with the songs and will actually be in tune :)

32 has never looked so good!!!

Happy "Barthday" to the worlds best Papa and husband!!!

We love you!

Singing in the Rain

It was sunny this weekend ... yeahhhhh!!!!!

We have waited months for a sunny day. the girlies decided to celebrate big style.

They love their "rellas" (this is how Lulu says umbrella :) and splashing

... so why not combine it, right?!

Testing the fun with Papa in the kitchen.

I am signing in the rain ...

Splish - splash

Here comes the WATERRRR ....

Brrrr .... cold and wet

... and dancing in the rain.

Lulu and her Ariel rella

Lulu's outfit of the day

Lulu's weekend fashion in pictures

She lays out her clothes every morning like this.

Ready to go skating!!!

Princess Lulu Fee

Please note the veil on the back of her head (headband backwards; it goes very well with her usual Rambo look).

I just love my little Isie! She is the cutest, littlest, most stylish sweetie every to be walking this planet!

L and L's wedding

The Ls played "wedding" today. Lillie was the bride and Lulu the make-shift prince(cess).

Here are the wedding pictures. It was a very moving ceremony :)

Bride and Prince(ess)

Smmmm ...

oooo ....

tchhhhhhh!!!!

Happily Ever After