Showing posts with label Eddie's World. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Eddie's World. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Vicious Dork Attack

Early this morning a scream was heard all through the house, the street and I am pretty, darn sure all through the city.

"MY EGGY!!!!!"
"YOU did that!!!"
"BAD DORK!!!"

... a coward Dork, tail between the legs, ears down and the cat door in full escape view, looked rather scared at me and then the cat door again ... obviously very torn between obeying and RUNNING!!!



What had happened?

A full-frontal, vicious Dork attack had happened!
A repeat attack too.

The poor victim had been previously attacked by the Dork AND the late Mr. Willie (my little "Saint", may he rest in peace!).

Poor Eggy (DON'T ask me about the name, I DON'T KNOW??? Lulu came up with it and I can't understand why but ... he is Eggy) ... so anyways, poor Eggy has been with us for a good 6 years, I'd say.
He lives in a big, soft book and has brought the Ls many, many days of playful fun and received lots and lots of love in return.

Will had always thought of him as a dog toy and I had to constantly rescue the poor fella from sure "death by underbite".
But my Willie was old and slow and I was young and fast.
Now the tables have turned and I have a young and fast and VERY dumb Dork and I am ... well not so fast anymore (I guess).

These are the evidence pictures taken by the detective, earlier this morning, right after the attack had been detected/reported.

Evidence Item # 1
Severe trauma to the forehead and face.


Evidence Item # 2
Severe bite-wound to the left hand / arm.


Evidence item # 3
Partially severed right foot, several toes are missing.


Doctor Mama was immediately called to the crime scene to give first aid and perform CPR on the victim.
The forehead was sutured together on scene (the patient will have some permanent, facial disfiguration).


After the patient was transported to the operating room (kitchen table), the doctor attempted to save the hand.
Several skin (felt) transplants had to be performed.



The surgery was rather long and very risky. 
The shock-paddles had to be in constant reach ...
"CLEAR!!!"





The operation proved to be successful and the doctor is hopeful that the patient will regain most of his hand motions (with a lot of physiotherapy of course).


A sketch artist was dispatched by the local police authorities to sketch a picture of the victim.
The artist refused to sketch the perpetrator due to personal issues "I don't like him anymore!".


Patient information was written on a white board to give the Intensive Care Team precise care instructions.



The intensive care room was well equipped with the most modern instruments.


The emergency gum-ball phone was set up in case the patient should need immediate help.


The patient was settled, comfortably in a luxurious, intensive care bed with 24/7 personal nurse care.


Here you can see the nurse feeding the patient his first meal after the hour long procedure. 
An apple.


Here the very attentive nurse assists the patient with drinking water from a sippy cup.


The hospital staff feels very positive about the outcome of this procedure and is rather hopeful that the patient will fully recover.
The patient will retain some scarring and deformation but it should not hinder him from being played with for many, many more years.

The evil Dork has been banned from the Princess Room and has not received his daily dose of dried chicken treats.
He is currently held without the possibility of a walk and is forced to lay on the floor with only two pillows instead of two pillows and a Dora blanket.
He is also subject to full cat torture.

Mr. Eggy has filed for a restraining order against the Dork and I am sure the Judge will be agreeable, given the amount of evidence provided.

Should the criminal attempt to contact (shred) Mr. Eggy again he'll lose all of his bed and furniture privileges, will be downgraded to cheap dog food and be tied up on the cat scratch tree with a muzzle and soaked from head to paw in cat nip.

Case closed. Court Adjourned.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Happy Birthday DORK!!!

Today it's one year to the day that we adopted the neighbors spare dog from the closet.

"Unique" is what he was called then, which was quickly changed into Eddie, Edgar, Bubbie, Dork and Little Brain however I do believe he thinks his name is "NO" since this is what he hears mostly coming out of our mouths.


He has evolved from digesting shoes and has made his way up the ladder to Barbies (he prefers the hands and feet) and toys (any kind or size will do).
He is especially fond of small doll house figurines that I have still from my childhood and loves to tear of the limbs of the dolls (which are by now antiques...) in quite a strategic manner.
And sticks, sticks he LOVES his dearly!
Mostly found in my yard to keep my flowers or veggies in the garden from falling over, but he pulls them out with such finesse that one could hardly tell it was him, except for the paw prints all over my half dead plants.

He loves to snuggle under the blanket and on cold days stays in bed, UNDERcover, until the house has reached an Eddie-suitable temperature.

He still thinks, after 12 months of being hit, scratched, hissed at and I am sure being beat up by both of the cats at the same time, that they are his BEST friends forever!
Every hiss and growl is happily received with a wagging tail and the "ready-to-play" position because "Today might be the day she will actually play with me. Yes, Yes??? Today? Will you? I am ready!!! .... duhhh"
Hint the name "Little Brain" it's rather fitting!

He has grown out of some of his quirks and developed new ones, some of them not so good (like his fear aggression) but with a bit of training and possibly some meds (for him or me) we should be able to manage that.

He has slowed down a bit from his crazy days when we got him but all-in-all he is still a big, silly DORK trapped in a little dogs body.

Pat called him a Pit-Uahua and I am a 100% sure that he thinks he is this huge, scary, vicious dog but as soon as you say firmly "Eddie NO!" he pees himself and starts shaking like a wet puppy in a snow storm.

He loves to steal the cat food and his farts stink worse than a skunk's because of it.

He is the happiest little guy around and cries as soon as he hears his Papa driving up to the house (he can tell it's the Jetta long before he comes around the corner!).
He LOVES the Ls and even goes and checks on them before he goes to bed.

He is a good, little Dork and fits quite nicely into our little nut-house :)
The Ls think he is Willie's brother (I love that thought!) and could not imagine a day without their little Dork.

It's been one year now that my Willie got his wings and slowly I think the sadness has lifted and we all can enjoy the Dork and remember Willie at the same time.
It took me a while to take to Ed since I missed my Willie so very much but I am so happy that these dumb neighbors just dumped Ed at us and we got the chance to give him a home and a family, something he had never had before.

His old "house mates" from next door, three rather unfriendly dogs (I would be grumpy too if I would have to spend my entire life in a garage, in cages, no walks, no toys, no socialization) were picked up by the SPCA two weeks ago, since the neighbors had lost their house to the bank and just left the dogs to ...
So he truly is now a rescue since this would have been his fate too or worse.

So Happy Birthday dear Dorkie!
We love you just the way you are!!!

... what choice do we have anyways ;)


Dorkie's day started with new toys in honor of the joyous day.


"Uh-Oh ... it squeaks!!! yeahhh!!!"

"squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak ..."


"You throw toy to Dork!"


"PLEASE!!!!"


" .... 0 .... 0 .....0 .... Throw- toy ....0 .... to me? Me dog! ...0 .... 0 ... Me wait! ... Me good dog! ....0 ....0 ..."


"Maybe I need to put it into your lap one or two or three more times? Would that make my point CLEAR???!!!"


"Finally!"


"squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak -squeak - squeak ..."


A new Frisbee .... awesome!!!


"Me LOVE Frisbee!!!


"Me happy!"



 "Yeahhhh ... me happy now! Me happy Little Brain!"



"Me so happy me go on table now. Me find more presents!"


"Me FOUND them!"


The mean voice from the other room:  "NO DORK!! Bad DORK!"
Dork: "0....0...0.... Me? ...0 ... Me happy! .... Me found toy! ...0....0....0.... Me good Dork?! ...duhhhh...."


Toys ...toys ...toys!!!




Yes, this is the true face of a 100% purebred DORK!!!


 .... zoom ....


Willie used to have to endure the same torture every year. He had his Mc D's Happy Meal with a Cheeseburger and Dorkie LOVES his Hot-dogs ...


"Me scared! ... Me shaking! ... Me want Hot Dog!!!"


So pretty!


Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you ...


"Now? Me can eat now?"


... drool ....


YEAHHHHH!!!!


8:01 pm -  GULP ...


8:02 pm - GULP ...


8:02.5 pm - BURP!!!


Awww .... a hug and a kiss from his MASTER!


and then the party got crazy and we all danced until the wee hours ...





Happy Birthday Dorkie!!!
xoxo
Your humans