Dreams do come true!

This Thursday, 12 months ago, we lost our Dorkie so unexpected and fast, it tore out hearts apart.
One week later we were blessed with a little, furry bundle of joy to heal what had been broken.
Buddy Tang was a gift from heaven (and Mrs. Tang :) and he has become our most beloved Bud, Buddy, Bud-Bud.

We LOVE this little guy so much and he is the best dog you could ever ask for.
So kind and gentle.
Loves everybody and everything, licks you to death if you let him.
Our best friend!

He was born with hereditary hip-dysplasia and has hit a few rough spots here and there but nothing some pain meds, a heating pad and some snuggles plus rest could not cure.

His most favorite thing is playing with other dogs and we made sure to send him once a week to Doggy Day Care to have fun and play ALL DAY.
He'll come home and sleep for 24 hours straight.

Buddy Tang is awesome, perfect, very much loved but he was lonely. Very lonely!

Two weeks ago we gave him the greatest gift ever.
Actually Deven did.
He gave this gift of love and life to his buddy Jedi Lillie.
Our Warrior Boy made his little fan VERY, VERY happy. All of us!
He gave us one of his best smiles :)

Deven's puppy Kemo and his mom's dog Peyton had 4 babies on April 15.
One boy, Yoda and 3 girls, Flora, Fauna and Merryweather.
Merryweather was chosen to join Dev in heaven, for she was the smallest and with that just perfect to have some big angel protection by our Warrior Boy.

Yoda was the chosen one for L from day one.

We got daily updates and pictures and we were eagerly awaiting his arrival in our house.
Flora (now Delilah...LOVE that name!) lives now with Angie's mom-in-law and is being spoiled and pamper.
Our day had finally come  too, it was time to bring home baby :) and since Angie wanted to leave town for a few days we got to bring his baby sis Fauna home as well, to puppy sit and to help Yoda get adjusted in his new home. d.

It was like a puppy day care.
Puppies, puppies everywhere.
We loved them and played with them, fed them and spoiled them.

From the moment we brought the pups into the house Buddy was soooo excited.
The puppies liked him too, especially little sis Fauna. She kissed him and ran after him all day.

And Buddy, well Buddy fell in love with her too!
We kept them separated by the baby gate when not supervised to give them time to adjust.
Fauna chewed through the plastic chicken wire (which we had to add since they were so tiny, they fit through the gate :) and Bud tried to squeeze through the gate to get to her.
This was true love at first sight, like they imprinted (my Twilight readers will know what that means :P

Yoda was more on the quiet side when it came to Bud but sure a little trouble-maker when it came to escaping. This little guy could squeeze through a pinhole, I swear.

And Jedi L was in heaven.
She had waited sooo long to hold her baby. She sat with them for hours, red to them and loved them.

The babies were so happy together and adjusted right away, after some crying at night and us getting up at 3 am to play with them.
Their first week with us was like having a newborn. I was a walking Zombie (a happy Zombie though :)

And the Ls ... well they were just so VERY, VERY happy!

Fauna got to stay for a few days extra (well a whole week extra) and we didn't mind AT ALL!
We tossed the idea of keeping Fauna as well but three dogs would definitely push it, not to talk about our landlord or trying to find a new place to live, if/when leave here.
Family meetings were in session every day.
We had to send one back and the more we watched Buddy and Fauna we all realized that we could not separate them, ever!
She slept in his bed, he SHARED his Chewnola (unheard of), he let her eat out of his bowl and they usually could be found completely entwined, playing like crazy.

So, with very heavy hearts we asked for permission to "switch" our precious gift Yoda with Fauna :(
Yoda is the cutest, little teddybear face you have ever come across!
The PERFECT puppy!

He is almost too perfect! Just absolute adorable.

It broke our hearts sending him back home. Luckily his mommy Peyton was VERY happy to have her bebe back in her paws and thats where he'll stay for now.

But this little girl, this sweet face, is our newest addition now.
Fauna Leonis Czarnota <3
She completes us!
We tried to find a new name for her, fitting the Star Wars theme or giving her a true Warrior name like Khalessie BUT we have gotten so used to calling Fauna Fauna that we decided to keep Fauna Fauna :)
she actually listens to her name or if you call "puppies, puppies, puppies" or if you have food or a toy or just walk in :)

She completes Buddy!

And she is the BEST snuggler!

Pat is madly in love with his new girl (whats one more for him anyways :)

We ALL are head over heals in love with this 2.5 pound bundle of energy and love.
I have never seen our Buddy so happy!
He is a completely different dog now. He even forgot about his floor anxieties ;P

This little one has brought us so much joy and happiness!
It feels like we have been waiting for her forever.

Our Warrior Boy will always be with us through our baby Fauna. every time we look at her we see Deven's smile :)

So thank you my dear Warrior Boy for our baby Fauna!
Thank you Angie and family for brining this little baby into our lives and for making us smile every day!

THANK YOU
from your little Jedi Lillie, who loves her Warrior Boy so much and talks about you like she has known you for all of her life.
THANK YOU
from Lulu, she is so happy to not be the smallest anymore :)
THANK YOU
from Pat, he really needed another girl!
THANK YOU
from me, for making my family so very happy and for puppy breath and puppy belly kisses.
 And THANK YOU
from Buddy for making him so very, very, extra happy!
NO THANK YOU from the cats or the chickens, sorry :P

Now all I wish is to find a way to box up some of this happiness and send it your way, for you are still hurting while we are so happy :(

We are forever grateful!
...or as Buddy would say "Dreams do come true!"

So welcome to the family baby Fauna Leonis Czarnota.
We LOVE you!!!

The Return of the Blog

Its been a LONG time since I was here!

I have been thinking about catching up on the blog for some time now but so much time has passed, I don't know where to start anymore.

So much has happened, so much has changed ... it feels like years have passed.

Life is good!

Its actually really good right now.

Teaching is done for the year and for next year. I can't believe I walked away from it.

I just can't!

The last two years I have lived and breathed this little art program of mine.

My days were so full of making and doing and prepping and all the while my family life got crazier and crazier.

It all was so good and so fun but it sucked the life out of me and my family, without me noticing.

But yesterday, in the car, I heard Lulu and L talking and L said "Mama loves us so much!" and Lulu said "Even more than art? No she loves art the most."

It just struck me and hurt me so deeply.

These two sentences were like a slap in the face. A wake-up call.

We came home, after a long drive back from the Pickup cabin where we had spent the long weekend, and I sat down and wrote my resignation email to our Principal and the PTA.

I had been back and forth with my decision to call it "quits" for some time now.

As much as I love it and I'll miss it, these two sentences just made it very clear to me that things HAVE to change. Not later but right now!

As soon as I had sent the email I felt this huge weight was lifted off my shoulders.

It was like I could breathe again.

I went into the Ls rooms and looked at them, sleeping soundly.

I covered them up, kissed them and told them "I am sorry!". 

I am so sorry for missing out on so many moments. Moments I spent prepping, reading and setting up.

Moments I spent being stressed out and not checking their homework properly. 

Moments spent heating up some store bought food and piling up laundry.

Moments spent rushing to school at 7:00 am instead of waking up the Ls and making breakfast for them.

It was good and fun but I don't want another "I wish I had" in my life.

I have too many already, way too many.

So I woke up this morning feeling like we started this year all over again.

There is a real need to make up for lost time. 

I just want to live and breathe these girls and soak up these moments so I don't have to feel sorry for missing out ever again.

This year has been so crazy, busy, emotional and wild.

We loved and lost, fought and won, watched and smiled, stood beside and cried.

I know that seeing Deven's face, his smile, his eyes on FB was meant to be.

This boy came into our lives and everything changed.

Now not a day goes by that I don't think about him, think about his life and what it means to us.

I talk to his mom and I wish I could make her smile like she did in these pictures from a LONG time ago.

I wish I could mend her broken heart and bring back her light.

Watching this woman lose her baby boy had such a deep impact on me as a mother and a person.

I used to be so afraid of death but now I am not anymore.

It'll bring me closer to all those we lost while walking on this earth.

I used to complain about ordinary days instead of being grateful for them. 

Ordinary days are good days.

Laughing, crying, jumping or laying down ... it's all part of life.

But life can turn on you in a second and all you are left with is memories.

You won't remember the house, what car, the furniture, if you got what you wanted but you'll remember spending time together, doing things together, learning, laughing, crying, being healthy or being ill. 

So instead of wishing that I had taken more time, done this or done that I will go back to what's most important in life (for me that is), back to making memories with my girls.

I remember being L's age which means she is making memories for a lifetime now. 

When I am gone I want her to remember these years as good ones, fun years with a mom that was there for her when she needed me and wanted me and the one that let her go when she was ready to.

But in order to let go I need to hold on a little while longer ... make memories with ME in them!

We need full immersion parenting! 

She is such a big girl and her heart is twice the size of her body.

At open house the kids presented a cardboard city in her class. Every child made a box with a business of their choosing. L made "L's Happy Homeless Care".

When asked what she would do if she had three wishes her answer was "I would wish for Deven to be alive again.".

Ask her what she wants the most in this world "More time with Jay!".

She loves with her whole heart and thats what I love most about this girl. 

The little one is just the icing on the cake.

No day is a boring day with Lulu by your side.

She'll dance and sing, she'll tell you all the stories of the world and she doesn't hold back.

She has her life planned, her boy (Nick) chosen and she has no doubts that life as SHE plans it will happen.

She is so smart and quick and will teach her Papa and me a whole lot about parenting :)

You little person, with that big, stubborn mind of yours and these tight, tight hugs and sweetest midnight sighs ... you are driving me crazy 50% of the time and I wouldn't have it any other way!

So it's done!

I am once again "just" a stay at home mom and I am so very happy for it!

We are restarting this year and count our blessings more instead of complain about the burdens.

It's all in our hands.

Everything happens for a reason ... EVERYTHING!

I am leaving this post with just a few pictures of our trip to Shaver Lake.

We have fallen in love with this place so deeply ... it's now our new refuge when things just go too crazy! Code word: Pickup means "I need to go NOW!"

More pics and a little "recap" of what has happened in the last few months is to come soon.

This will have to do for now ...

Welcome back to life Necklacklee :)

Oh how I have missed you!!!