this old soup bowl...

...it's sitting right here on my desk, my inspiration I guess.
To any other person this looks like an ordinary, white soup bowl, Made in Italy, nice decor, nothing unusual or special about it.
To me however it is so much more than that.
This "ordinary" soup bowl is 10 years old! 10 YEARS!
We have used it as an everyday item for 10 years, it moved with us 5 times and has made it through the use of 2 little ones, now able to hold their own spoon and dip their own bread.

When we got this set of 4 soup bowls they were so nice and shiny. Oh so very special to me.
A dear friend gave them to us and every time we use them we think of him and remember how I used to admire his soup bowls and enjoy the dinners we had with him.

10 years ago these bowls were super new, no scratches and no chips.
The food we cooked was not as good then, we just started to cook together and we learned a lot from the burning and charring, the too salty, too thick or too thin.
Over the years the food got much, much better. Richer, more body, richer flavor.
The ingredients are now chosen more carful and the end product (almost ;) always ends up being better than the one before.
We found out when more salt was needed or less, more water or more coriander.
We learned to become good at cooking.

Now, these bowls are no longer shiny and new.
They have chips, scratches in the porcelain, they lost their bright, white color and they look like plain, "old" bowls now.

But they are still good! Still very good!
And the food has gotten so much better and nurtured us through so many ups and downs.
Hot soups on cold days, cool salads on hot days ... perfect for every season, weather and time.
These soup bowls have seen so much in these ten years.
They saw our first best four legged friend Willie come and join us and then leave us for doggy heaven, they greeted Eddie and said good bye to him, they greeted Budster and Fauna, they have held the fruits of our garden and fresh chicken eggs from the coop.
They fed me through two pregnancy cravings and these tired and sleepless nights that followed them.
They have seen the greatest joys and biggest heart aches.
They watched our Ls grow up into these beautiful, young ladies, full of joy and love.
The love of our lives! Our joy, our hopes and dreams lie with them.
They saw us lose a tiny heart, just ready to join this family and all the tears and sorrow that followed it.
They saw us at our best and happiest and at our worst and saddest.
They witnessed two people, two best friends, become one, become a family.

They traveled in moving boxes from Livermore to Tucson (corp. housing, rental, our dream home) just to get packed up into boxes again and move back to the Bay Area.

These bowls have seen A LOT!

When I look at them I can hardly believe that they are 10 years old. 10 years is a long time to eat out of  the same bowls. You eat when it tastes amazing and you eat when it tastes pretty bad.
Sometimes you don't feel like eating at all and sometimes you want to fill that bowl over and over again (all you can eat, all day).
Sometimes we might even have gotten tired of these old bowls but we still put them back into the cupboard, right where they belong.
Our cupboards would be empty and sad without these bowls.
Not the same.
Never the same!

Lots of words about some simple, old bowls hey ...
Except for the fact that these bowls were a wedding gift from GP Gene to us 10 years ago.
On December 7th, at 10:00 am in the morning, in Fremont in our Saint Anne's church, during our regular Sunday morning service, surrounded by our closest friends and family,
Pat and I promised to hold and to love each other for as long as we shall live.
10 years ago!

Little did we know what "...to hold and to love for as long as we shall live..." meant.
We are barely understanding the words now, let alone truly realizing what this promise really means.
All I can say is, WOW!
We have made it this far.
Through sun and rain, warm and cold, happy and sad and very, very sad.
Through sickness and health and through ups and downs.
Sometimes it was 50/50 and sometimes it was 90/10.
Our pastor told us that marriage is sometimes 90/10, one gives 10%, the other gives 90% and when I get very grumpy and slightly irritated (which almost NEVER happens :P ) one can hear Pat running through the house, whispering to himself "90/10 - 90/10" ... I kid you not!

Just as these bowls we were all nice and shiny 10 years ago.
Just like we learned to cook we learned to live and love.
We learned what it takes, what makes life better and what ruins the taste.
Some days life is full and rich and other days it is thin, runny and rather blah tasting.
But just like these bowls we still are here, with some scratches (more like wrinkles and stretch-marks), some chips (like the hair or the loss of thereof ;), not as white (more gray) but still good.
Still very, very good!

I look at this bowl on my desk and I wonder how it'll look in 10 years from now.
If we treat it with care and give it a good wash after every meal it should hold for another 10, 20, 30 years easily.
I hope it will not break. Ever!
But if it does, there is pretty good porcelain glue on the market these days that will glue it back together and keep it that way.
These bowls are made to last...and so are we!
Yes, so are we!

For all the times we were happy.
When we felt the kick of Lillie's little feet in my humongous belly for the first time.
When I screamed and told you I could not stop peeing and you calmly responded "Baby; I think your water just broke!"
When we saw this little person for the first time ever and we fell in love with her right then and there.
When I called you to tell you we had two, pink lines AGAIN and we watched that belly grow once more (and my butt too) ... and I am sorry I couldn't wait for you to come home to pee on these sticks. I just couldn't ... just like the Christmas gifts we opened 1 month early :P
For the time we signed our first mortgage papers and the time we signed the listing agreement for our dream house in Tucson.
For the times I felt so happy and great, on top of the world and for the times I was in a deep, dark hole, not able to crawl out without your help and constant care.
For the times you made me laugh driving by me in the morning and pretending to be the Pecker, almost making me crash the car.
For the times I spent waiting for you to come home from work, some days as late 1:00 am.
For calling me every day to tell me "I am leaving now!" just before you come home.
For days of doubt and worry and days of knowing just how right it is and feels.
For holding me in your arms when my Willie left us, when Dorkie left us.
For the night you carried me to bed after I had broken down in the bathroom, holding my belly knowing that this little person was not going to be a part of our family after all.
For holding me after I lost my dad and with it all the dreams and wishes I had about my relationship with him.
For all the good days and the bad days ...

I LOVE YOU!
I LOVE YOU!
I LOVE YOU!

More than I did 10 years ago.
More than I ever imagined I could love a man.
You are my constant companion and best friend.
You know me better than I know myself and you love me just the way I am, even if I drive you crazy, rip out a bathroom, a kitchen and the entire carpet of our rental house while you are at work and then tell you "fix it" when you come walking in after work.
I love you for working so hard every day, harder and harder to make money so I can stay home and be a mom, mess up the house with glitter and glue, drag home chickens and dog after dog.
I love you for every time you want to snap back at me but then you never do.
I love you for not ever having yelled at me or spoken to me in an angry voice. Ever!
I love you for the Goalie you are, the way you can rollerblade backwards and skate better than I could ever walk.
I love you for being the most wonderful father to my Ls and for wanting nothing but the best for them, putting their needs and mine ALWAYS ahead of yours.
I love you for giving me the Ls. We MADE them! AMAZING!
I love you for letting me be the person I am, never asking me to change and always supporting me...no matter how crazy my ideas or wishes are.
I love you for loving the mountains as much as I do and for dreaming of Bora Bora with me.
I love you for driving this old, beat up, half-dead car (I am pretty sure animals live in it) so I can drive the Ls in the nice and awesome 4Runner.
I love you for being able to fix ANYTHING and build what ever I want.
I love you for your never ending patience and your kind heart.
I love you for the boy you were when we met and for the man you have become.
I love you for being always so good to us. Always!

I don't know where I'd be if it wouldn't have been for this sarcastic email and the big blisters on my feet on our first date...I know I wouldn't be here, with you and my girls and everything that comes with (furry, feathery, old and new :).

Happy 10 years of happily ever after my wonderful husband.
May the next 10 bring more reasons to smile and to be happy about and less to be sad about.
No matter how many cracks and chips we get, may we always find the right glue to keep this "old soup bowl"of ours together...forever!

With love,
Your wife

My wonderful, beloved L,

Last night at the dinner table you placed Fauna's teeth into a bag and wrote a note to the Tooth Fairy.
We talked about if there is a Tooth Fairy for dogs since we had never had one visit, when you looked up at me and asked, with a wee bit of a doubting look, "Are you the Tooth Fairy Mama?".

I must admit my heart sunk a little when you asked that question.
You are one month away from turning 9 years old.
9 walks around the sun for you and oh-my how you have grown!

From this 

to this

                                             

You said that your friends told you there is no such thing as MAGIC and that the parents are the Tooth Fairy and there is no Santa.

So I looked into your beautiful, blue eyes and just said "What do you think? Do you believe in Magic?".

I could see you were torn between what your friends say and what you believe, what you want to believe.

I could see your doubts and somehow it was almost like you didn't want me to know that there might be no magic in this world.

So let me tell you what magic is my child, for as long as I am in this world there WILL be magic in your life and more importantly in your heart!

Magis is...

...finding love

                                     

...having best friends forever

                                      

...holding your 2 day old baby in your arms

...rocking your baby in your sleep

...touching your new baby sister for the first time

...sledding down a hill

...building a Solstice tree

...Christmas at a cabin in the woods

...selfmade gifts

...kisses under the Christmas tree

...ice art

...sleeping next to your best friend and sister

...hiking up a water fall

...making your own Harry Potter world

...mama-L-hugs

...watching things grow

 ...having a Dork

...BFF

...surprises from Omi

...pancake faces

...first days of school

...hammok love

...riding a horse

...waiting for your Papa to come home

...Darth Vader bday cakes

...GM kisses

...teaching your Dork the ABC

...running your first race

...Elfing

...jumping in leaves

...laying in a pile of leaves

...taking your Nutcracker to see "The Nutcracker"

...last moments of love

...saying Good Bye

...hiking with friends

...visiting very special friends

...floating down a river

...making a garden at the lake

... YOU

...your sister

...paddling a cross the lake

...being crazy

...making music

...swimming like Superman

...skating with your GP

...shoe shopping sprees

...picking up your Papa from the airport after 3 long weeks of waiting

...dancing with your sister

...wearing your mom's wedding dress and vail

...sister love

...Toy Story

...being thankful

...going as an Elf to school

...skiing down a hill between your Papa's legs

...tea parties

...missing your best friend

...being able to see the wonders of the world

...riding a karusell into the night

...homemade apron-skirts to hold your treasures

...Valentines cards from your dog to your cat

...your cat reading your dogs Valentines cards

...celebrating love

...always having your best friend right next to you

...making snowmen

...seeing beauty

...bathing in 1000... bubbles

...watching Harry Potter at 11 pm with your Papa

...making a rainbow

...giving it sparkle

...looking up into the sky

...your Dork and his favorite purple basket

...dancing with your Nutcracker

...greeting the New Year from the top of a windy mountain

...sillie selfies

...dancing Gangdam Style with your best buddies

...regular family dinners

...finding a matching pair of socks (or not)

...being silly

...drawing the best pictures ever!

...carrying your cat who is heavier than you :P

...busting your cat

...drawing the best Ninjas

...making potstickers with your Chinese family

...being kind and helping others

...making snow angels

...finding new love

...taking a picture with your brother and sister

...Christmas in March

...loving with your whole heart

...balancing a raisin on your nose

...Shaver Lake

...peaceful moments

...watching your puppy being born

... family traditions

...feeding your chickens

...jumping off a diving board

...going boating with your buddies

...meeting very special teachers

...bringing your puppy home

...having TWO puppies in the house

...freshly bathed puppy faces

...Sports Camp love

...being inventive

...dreaming BIG

...laying out your outfit for the next day

...beauty treatments

...living large

...Fairy hockey players

...Lulu style

...getting pink sparkle shoes

...dancing

...birthday candles

...sleep-overs

...growing up together

Magic IS REAL! 

You see my love! 

It will always be real, no matter what others say and we have thousands of memories to prove it.

Waking up with fairy dust on your face in the morning and finding a letter from the tooth fairy is wonderful but the real magic is in your heart and your soul.

Your smile is magic.

Your hugs are magic.

Your kisses are magic.

You giggling with your sister is magic.

Knowing that no matter what happens in this word and in your life you will ALWAYS have your family behind you and with you, that is magic.

Love is magic.

Don't ever doubt that my wonderful baby girl!

Santa and Fairies are REAL as long as you have magic in your heart.

I am 38 years old (still :) and I still believe in the magic of Christmas, in the magic of putting your tooth in a pillow and looking for easter eggs.

I believe in the magic of Elfing, hiding behind bushes in the dark watching friends and neighbors find treats in front of their door.

I believe in leaving out cookies for Santa and reindeer food. 

I believe in reading "The Night before Christmas" and watching "Prep and Landing".

I believe in the magic of Christmas morning and waking up at 5:00 am running to the tree.

I believe in making christmas cookies and carving pumpkins, coloring easter eggs and making decorations.

No matter what happens in your life my Love, no matter what people say, when you are 38 years old and maybe have a little girl of your own, you will see what the true magic is and how sad life would be without it.

I feel sorry for everyone in this world who doesn't believe in magic and love. Life would be so sad and empty without it.

Think of our Christmas at Sorenson's and how MAGICAL it was. 

Years down the road you will not remember what Santa brought you that Christmas but hopefully you'll remember building the Solstice Tree, making ice art, reading "The Lion in the Box" and Papa screaming "Figgy Pudding" and having a tea party every day.

Time spent together, memories being made, that is the true magic ... it's called LOVE.

You, your sister and your Papa, you guys are my magic and as long as I live I will make sure that there will be magic for all of us.

With love,

Your Mama <3