{this moment}

I must be DREAMING!!!

Either Meow is getting senile or the Dork finally wore her down ...

She HATES him!
Unbelievable.

Kindred hearts after all <3

i began as a mother of babes

i began as the mother of babes.

and i mean that, for i was born then, too.
all of the me that had begun,
the wonderings and wanderings of my first three decades,
melted away in the faces of those new babies
and i was born anew.

i spent the next decade tending.
and tending, i did well. it was my thing, apparently.

i grew into it, and i loved every minute.
well,
you know that to be a gentle lie.
there were quite a few minutes of awful.  of anguish, even.
and so much comedy, uncertainty, dishevelment.
you know.

but now...
some of my babes are almost grown.
do not kid yourself about how quickly that happens.
do not kid yourself and do not miss a second wishing those
wonderfully intense, delicious early years away.

for it happens even as you are watching them.
they grow.

and as much as you need to lose yourself to care for those newborn babes, those littles-
when they have grown to your size almost-when their feet may be as big!-
it is then that you need to find yourself again.
you need to grow.

for then, as they come upon ten; at twelve maybe...fourteen certainly;
then you must find yourself in order to know how to guide them.  you must be the you
that you want to be,
so that the you they are growing up against and alongside, is the you that you want them to know.

for here's the thing:

in the end,
what you want for them most of all is to leave you.
to leave your house to become who they will be.
and when they are gone
who do you want to be left with?

my wish is that my own answer
is the me that was born out of mothering them.
and the man that's loved me all along the way.


lovely thoughts by ~tara thayer


Today I read it.
Today I loved it.
Today I want to live it!
So when tomorrow comes I can remember every second of it and know how lucky I was to be able to sit in my little, old, rented house, with old paint, old windows and a OLD bathroom watching my Issie building a Legoland play ground

and my big L creating her "Kleiner Rabe" all by herself.

Precious moments pressed deep into my memory forever ... because tomorrow will be here before you know it!

Carpe diem!!!

# 3 & 4 ... GONE!!!

Before ...

After ...

And once again we had to seek the help of a dentist to get rid of these TWO suckers

... at the same time!!!

I took her to my dentist, who is VERY good and does not use the laughing gas.
So this time she was not under "sedation" and was just a super good sport!!!
+ her BFF Jay was right there with her, to keep her company and make her feel better.
She 'll do anything with him, even getting teeth pulled :)

We celebrated with Frozen Yoghurt!!!

And since we were in a "make-over-mood" we stopped on the way home to cut that lion mane of hers.

Then we ran to the grocery store to pick up some soft food items for the "handicapped" child ...

She had chicken noodle soup and apple sauce for dinner.
I had suggested corn on the cob and half frozen carrots but I was voted down :)

But the best part of it  ...

M: Lillie say Suzy Snowflake
L: Thuthie Thnowflake
M: Wahahahahahah!!!!

Seperation

... I have been struggling with it all day and now have finally a few minutes to write down my thoughts on this rather delicate matter.

It's been apparent for a few years now but we thought we could overcome it and make it work.
Others can, with much more complicated set-ups so why shouldn't we be able to pull it off.

But in the last few weeks it's become very obvious that things just don't work anymore the way there are and have been.
And rather than to ignore the "Elephant" in the house it's best to deal with it ASAP.

The calls for "being myself" and "need more room" and "privacy" have been echoing through this house over and over and we finally decided that enough is enough and have come to the decision to SEPARATE.

... the CHILDREN!!! (ha-ha-ha)

While they have been happy bunking in one room and sleeping in the same bed for so long its now become obvious that personalities and age don't allow for a peaceful room-sharing anymore.

On the one side we have

Warrior / Star Wars Lover / Harry Potter Fanatic L

Who proclaims she wants NOTHING to do with girl stuff anymore ... AT ALL! 
At this point she wishes she'd be a boy and just leave that whole being-a-gilr-thing behind.
I was given strict instructions to buy her clothes in the boy section from now on and not even to think about buying anything pink for her anymore.
She loves animals ... next to her mashed potatoes and gravy and can't wait to kill her first fish.

On the other side we have

The Diva / Barbie Enthusiast / Singer / Dancer / Drama Queen little L


Who changes outfits by the hour, has to have every sparkling item she sees, loves nothing more than clothes shopping, owns more pairs of shoes than the rest of the entire family, LOVES everything Barbie and can sing you every song of "Tangled" and can also dance out the entire movie.
She is a self-proclaimed Vegetarian and will not go near beef or chicken but rather tells you how mean you are that you are eating this poor animal, it's "flamily" will be so sad now.

Houston, WE HAVE A PROBLEM!!!

And in order to support sisterly affection and to keep them from trying to kill each other every time the topic of toys comes up, we decided to set up separate bed rooms for the Ls. (sorry guests, but you'll be bunking in the soon to be set up Harry Potter room of L)

Ls b-day wish is to have her own room to escape to when she can't deal with the sight of the many naked Barbies on the floor anymore.

She has been asking for "more privacy" lately and after careful consideration we decided that a first grade student should have a room to go to and door to shut, if a bit of quite / alone time is needed.

Her wish is to have a room "full with Harry Potter stuff" (sorry Woody and Round-Up-Gang, but I fear your days have been cut short and she has moved on to bigger and scarier things now).
We welcome this wish more than a wish for yet another useless toy and willingly agreed!

The little L is in heaven already.
HER pink, lila, everything girly, Barbie / Dress-Up room is almost done and will sparkle soon like a diamond.
She will get the bunk bed and her vanity is already set up.
She wishes for a walk-in closet but SORRY my dear ... only if mama gets one first :)
We (I with the help of two Red Bull) moved everything around so that she has plenty of room for her princess castles and Barbie toys to be spread all over.
Enough room for dancing and singing and her dress up clothes will be within reach to beautify herself once more.

Within the next weeks we hope to complete this process and have two happy Ls, who will be happy together AND happy alone as well.

And if they are still fighting after that I'll just pack my bags and run away ...

Proof that she is a Czarnota ...

#1

We are parked in front of the tire store to wait for Pat to drop of his car. Next door is a Dentist (we have NEVER been there before!).

Lulu asks, whats that store?

L: It's a dentist.
M: What? You just read this? (in my head ... "yeahhhh she just read dentist, thats a BIG word!")
L: No, I didn't read it, I remember the phone number. Thats the same phone number for the dentist on the computer when you were looking for a dentist.
M: WHAT? That was in June. You remember the PHONE NUMEBR??? WHAT???
L: Yes, it was on the computer, don't you remember?

FYI, I researched dentist in Milpitas and looked at many, many listings online and she remembered the dentist by the phone number???

Her dad can not remember who told him what or the name of that person BUT remembers people by their phone numbers or Social Security Number.  He still remembers his first home phone number (from when he was 5!!!) and recalls every address he has ever lived at.

Proof!!!

#2

L: Can we go fishing when we go to Tahoe?
M: Yes, sure. But what do you want to do with that poor fish once you have him on the hook?
L: Kill it and eat it of course, thats the BEST part of fishing.
M: BLANK STARE ???????????
P: screaming from the back "Thats MY GIRL!" "Get in my BELLY!!!"

Proof!!!


Proof that this is my child ...

 YUP ... this one is definitely MINE!!!

LOVE my Ls!!!!

Toilet Bowl Cleaning Camp 2011 - Day 4

aka CZ Adventure-cation 2011

Last but not LEAST, on the way home we took a little de-tour over to the ocean to find some tide-pools.

Point Reyes was the destination and we quickly found Duxbury Reef Beach, known for its abundance of tide-pools and the low tide was right around the corner.

We hooked up with Sun-Inn and Co. again and off we went to discover the life within
 ... the tide pools :)

FOUND THEM!!!

COOL!

Green Sea Anemones everywhere, nice and stickyyyy,  lots of Hermit Crabs, Purple Shore Crabs, Barnacles, Black Turban Snails and CA and Blue Mussels ... and thanks to GP, who bought us a Field Guide we could even identify them on the spot.

Hello little Crabby-Crab

Young Ocean Explorer

These two pools looked like lungs to me :)

The kids had SO MUCH FUN! 
They could have spent hours and hours hanging out there and playing with the crabs and snails.

The Founding Father and Mothers of:

Snail City

Modern Snail Transportation

Bundled up!!!

We left the beach and our adventure friends and set off to pick up Dork from Dog Hotel & Resort.
On the way we saw these guys and stopped to have a look ...

And yet another "drive-by-shooting"
Sun Inn and Co. stopped by too and we said "Good Bye and THANK YOU" again.

And this sums up the CZ Adventure-cation of 2011.

We had FUN-FUN-FUN!!!
... and can't wait to hit the trail, river and beach again.

No worry Mother Nature, we'll be back soon ... like in TOMORROW :)

Another Adventure-cation has been scheduled for next weekend and L decided to take a b-day trip to Tahoe, to see the Salmon Run, instead of having a party ... YEAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

We'll join so many of our friends, who have chosen to forego the big party thing and instead spend the money and time on a fun family outing.

I am so excited about this!!!
No more planning, inviting and worrying about the location, food, entertainment ... now it'll be just a few days of CZ time at a location chosen by the b-day-person (and within the means of our wallet ... sadly that will cut out my wish for Hawaii ;)

So let the hiking, tracking, back-packing, camping and all that comes with it begin!!!

The FAMOUS Bay Area is our backyard ... we'll be busy for a while.

Toilet Bowl Cleaning Camp 2011 - Day 3

aka  CZ Adventure-cation 2011

Getting up at 7:00 AM was HARD after a long day of "safariing", swimming in the pool and watching the "Smurfs"on the BIG screen with the whole fam.

BUT yet another exciting adventure was calling our name ...

River Rafting here we come!!!

                                              

And look who's going to join us 

... Liam and Jada with mom and dad in tow! 

AWESOME!!!

"Lost and Found"

And off to the River we march ...

The boats are waiting ...

... and the river is calling!

Our tour guides all smiles.

One happy canoe-buddy!

Jada the Mermaid

The scouts were WAY ahead of us and had decided to wait for us so we could catch up.

L was on board with GP and paddled the ENTIRE day with him alone! 

She did GREAT!!!

 ... and GP taught her a thing or two about water and canoeing. 

She is a PRO now!

brrrr .... COLD!!!

Lunch Break

Liam's canoe sand/rock sculpture

Jeff knows how to travel in style!!!

LOTS of puppies were on the river that day.
I wonder how Dorkie would have liked it ...

The kids had TONS of fun floating down the river.

Jeff and Liam in full paddle action.

Lulu hard at work!

More floating done by the big kids ...

... so the little kid wanted to have a piece of the action too!

With GP and Papa on hand Lulu made her first floating attempts.

.. a little more daring ...

... et voila 

... one floating Lulu coming up!

AWESOME! 

She totally did it!!!

I spotted this little fella lonesome and forgotten along the river. It looked like it had seen better days ...

Just hanging ...

 This is a "float by shooting" 

"It's a true story!"

(inside joke for SI :)

And when it gets too hot in the boat ... you just jump into the nice, cool river and relax!

Good times!!!

Ohhh and after almost 5 hours on the river even the best little canoe buddy gets tired ...

... and sometimes even falls ASLEEP while mom and dad paddle and paddle and paddle :)

After-Rafting-Dinner-Party

This surely was an AWESOME experience and we still are talking about how much fun we had.

Thank you Sun-Inn and family for introducing us to this wonderful pass time and for the great day we had with you guys!

It'll be hard to top this one, after the caves and the river ... REALLY hard to top!
But I double dare you!!!  :)

This was our first family river rafting adventure but surely NOT our last!

When we finally returned to the hotel we fell dead-tired into the "sack" and it was "lights out" early for everyone.

BUT wait, there was more!!!

Come back tomorrow to see what the final day of our Toilet Bowl Cleaning Camp had in store for us.
It was the perfect ending to a perfect CZ Adventure-cation.
So stay tuned!!!