I still had almost two weeks to go but boy, that day had been rough.
I was supposed to be in a pretty important meeting but the braxton-hix were so strong that I never managed to even leave the bed room let alone the house.
The day before I sat in the Presidents Board Room with some VIP guys, who had flown in to meet with us to discuss this "new baby" of mine. I had been so excited about these meetings but now, all I was doing was pinching my leg really hard every time I felt one of the contractions ... I had bruises up and down my thighs the next day.
I made my way up the stairs to use the bathroom and to sit in a nice, warm tub to calm down this "false alarm".
The next thing Pat heard from me was "P-A-T-R-I-C-K!!!! COME!!!!" and within one nano second he flew into the room "Whats wrong???". "I can't stop peeing???"
... and this is how my water broke.
I dressed and undressed several times because as soon as I was ready to go the pants were soaked again. Finally Pat said "Put a towel in and lets go, it's not going to stop anyways."
We covered the car seat with plastic bags and more towels and out of the door we went.
I totally remember leaving the driveway, looking back at the house and thinking to myself "This is the last time we are leaving here and it's just the two of us, when we come back we will be three."
WOW ... that was the scariest thought ever.
We drove to Walnut Creek, got checked in (by now I am walking around with a bum so wet, everybody saw what was going on. I must have left drizzle marks all over the floors".
We got our room, I was poked and probed and then we were left to wait .... wait for something to happen.
So we waited and waited and waited. We snoozed a bit but then they kept coming in to check on my status, so sleep was not really happening.
I had told them I didn't want the epidermal because I HATE needles and I did not want anybody sticking one in my SPINE. No thank you! My mom had done it three times without help and so could I!!!
I was totally convinced of that, totally ....
.... until they hooked me up with this magic stuff called Pitocin. I wasn't progressing and since the water was broken baby had to come out so a little help was needed.
And boy let me tell you, now the party was starting.
Holy Mother of God, ouch!!!! ouch!!!! ouch!!!!!
And then there was this husband of mine who thought that a delivery room was just the coolest play ground on earth.
He pushed every button on my bed, sending me up and down, back and forth and he had also decided to be my personal "Contraction Announcer". So every time any wave of pain was coming on, my darling hubby said "OK baby, here it comes, here-here ... NOW you are in full pain!"
Oh if I could have reached him I would have .... done something terrible to him. But he sat way out of reach ... on purpose of course.
My nurse Yuri (7 years later and I still remember his name and his face, he was my delivery angel!!!) took my face in his hands and said "Listen girl, no need to be a hero here. Let's get you a bit more comfortable and you'll have a whole lot more fun with this. The party is only beginning. OK?"
And I looked at him and said "yes".
He told me to use the bathroom one more time since you can't walk over there once the epi is in.
So I did, I dragged myself over to the bathroom and while I sat down I felt something inside me DROP, like a mellon into the shopping cart, WUSH!!!
And then all hell broke loose.
Oh my lord O-U-T-C-H!!!! O-U-T-C-H!!!!O-U-T-C-H!!!!O-U-T-C-H!!!!O-U-T-C-H!!!!O-U-T-C-H!!!!O-U-T-C-H!!!!
Pat tried to help me walk back to bed but I think I got a hold of his neck and just tried to climb up on him.
Holy crap, I had never, ever experienced any kind of pain like this.
I am not sure how they got me back into bed but the "Needle Guy" came racing in was ready to relieve me.
By that point my entire body was shaking uncontrollably. My Yuri had to hold me down like a calf for branding and he kept telling me "It's alright girl, it's alright."
And then .... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ..... no more pain, nothing. Just nothing.
I was sitting up with huge smile and my Contraction Announcer didn't bother me a bit anymore.
My Yuri said I'll go and get the catheter and then you can take a nap. Oh that sounded soooo good. I was so tired and so done with it. Sleep sounded just AWESOME!!!
So then he came with a smile and said "let's see here ..." and he popped his head up looked at me and said "Whatever you do DO NOT PUSH!!!"
WHat? Excuse me? What did you say?
"You are having a baby RIGHT NOW!"
Apparently I had been in full blown labor when they gave me the epidermal (they didn't check me too often to avoid infection since the water had been broken).
So about 10 minutes after I was all numb and comfy and ready to snooze I was going to give birth!
"Hey!!! What about my NAP???"
"Forget it. You are having a baby, sleeping is OVER!"
The doctor came in and the nurses hustled to set up and as the doctor turned around to take a look Lillie just popped out ... just like that. She just had to catch her , like a little football.
October 22, 2004 @10:25 AM
Lillie Marie Sigrid Agnes Czarnota
And then my life changed forever.
I held her in my arms and looked at her, with her big lips and her cute little nose and I was in love.
Love like I had never known before. From the moment I looked into these tiny eyes and held that tiny body I was ready to die at any given moment for her. I was ready to endure whatever I needed to endure to protect this little being in my arms.
I was a MOM (Mama).
WOW ... this was one of the most defining moments in my life. I can say that with complete certainty.
Being a mom is the biggest calling, challenge, the most daunting process and it comes with huge rewards and lots and lots of little giggles and smiles.
We brought her home and didn't know much about babies and such but bit by bit she taught us and helped us find our way through parenting.
Her favorite place to sleep was right here ...
And mine was right there ...
We could not keep our eyes and hands off of her and we both were so deeply and madly in love with this little person we had created, it was just mind-blowing.
Everybody fell in love with her and her chubby cheeks, her curly hair and ...
awesome little bum (Knackarsch!). She had the BEST little butt you have ver seen.
We kissed it from morning till night ;)
Fast forward 7 years ...
The best Padawan- pose you have ver seen. Determined to become a Jedi Knight at any time ;)
Ready to play a round of mean hockey!
The ONLY girl in the Hockey Class!!!
Never leaves without her Light Saber.
Always a smart and (since lately) LAST word ...
A BIG Sister
Looking into a bright future
Jedi knight / Virgin Mary
BEST FRIENDS FOREVER!
One heart and one soul!
A new found LOVE
Thanks to Aunty Carrie we got to ride on her own horse Mariah.
It's just crazy! My little Sunshine is 7 years old, goes to First Grade, is in Hockey Class and wants to be a World Record Swimmer some day.
She is the light of our life, even though she has been a bit cloudy lately (First Grade is hard to get used to).
She is a wonderful sister, even though she gets beat up by her little sis once in a while :)
She LOVES the outdoors, hiking and camping. She is a rocket in the water and getting better and better on the ice.
She loves Star Wars and her Jay and she is just the best thing that ever happened to us (including the little one na-course).
Happy Birthday my Love!!!
May all your wishes and dreams come true and we hope that your life will be nothing more than a walk in the park.
Know always that we love you, no matter what.
Know that you always have a home, no matter what.
Know that as long as my heart beats it beats for you and your sister.
You made me a mom and there is nothing else in this world I would rather be!
Happy Birthday!!!!
I love you from here to the moon and back ....
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